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True nostalgia is an ephemeral composition of disjointed memories | Aminat Shiyanbade

Visiting my hometown after 15 years brings back so many memories that I didn’t even know I had. I knew before I left that I had to see if the local bakery was still open. Every single Sunday my mom would take me there and get me something sweet as a special end-of-the-week treat. Walking in there made me feel like a kid again with everything just the way I remember it. They even still had the same cupcakes and the minute I bit into one the memories started to flow back into me.

Five-year-old me was having a horrible week after starting school and my mom wanted to do something to cheer me up. I swear I can still smell that wonderful perfume she would wear as she held me close to her trying to give me some comfort.

Allan what if we made Sunday our bakery day? We can go every single week just the two of us and get a nice treat. I can feel my heart flutter the same way I did when she told me that is what we were going to do. Something every single week that I could do with just my mom and get all of her attention instead of sharing it with my siblings for a little while.

The first time I ordered that exact cupcake and felt all my sadness melt away with that first lick of chocolate icing. Now being almost 40 years old and taking a lick of that same icing makes me feel just like I did as a five-year-old kid just wanting something to make everything better. That feeling of everything being okay and my mother being the one to make it right.

I didn’t even know when I got here how nostalgic a simple cupcake could make me feel. How it could bring back so many amazing memories for me; that I thought had been lost. The day I fell down at school in second grade and thought that my life was over from embarrassment.

A simple trip here made me forget all of that for a little while. When I finished elementary school and my mother had bought cupcakes from here so we could all celebrate. The simple life and happiness of a child was just washing over me as I sat there and slowly took bites of my cupcake. It didn’t matter that all of these things happened so far in the past, because for me they seemed to be locked in a time capsule. Unlocked when I came in here and felt the wave of nostalgic glee hit me all at once.

The last bite was finished, and I had the same grin on my face that I can’t remember having once in my adult life. The words of my mother echo through me that everything will be okay now. I was lucky that I decided to end my visit on a Sunday.

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