The Unfortunate Demise of Infidelity Counseling Network: The Struggle Is Real | Elda M Lopez

This makes me incredibly sad. A much-needed nonprofit organization, Infidelity Counseling Network, is closing its doors. This group helped women heal their many infidelity wounds. I became acquainted with them through online networking. We found ourselves in the same “circles” for obvious reasons. It was a pleasure to have been a part of their noble cause, if only peripherally.

ICN offered call-in peer counseling with compassion and care. This type of service takes time, dedication, patience, know-how, and money. Unfortunately, people found it difficult to contribute financially to this ideal. Adultery is publicly maligned, yet there is resistance to support its healing and prevention.

The struggle is real.

“We were the only nonprofit of its kind, anywhere.”

Here’s the letter I received. It speaks volumes.

Dear Friend,

Since 2010, we’ve been transforming women’s lives. Through our peer counseling services, our clients are strengthened to cope with the severe trauma of betrayal…empowered to manage the ending or mending of their relationships…transformed into powerful role models for family and friends.

As you may know, the last few years have brought many transitions to our small-but-mighty organization. In order to grow and scale, nonprofits must be able to step away from the original founder involvement and take on new directions. We invested an extensive amount of time and energy to the process of securing new director leadership; however, our previous two hires did not work out as we’d hoped.

While ICN has been wealthy in heart and commitment, we’ve always been run with a very lean financial budget and volunteer cohort. Unfortunately, our organization no longer has the bandwidth or resources to recruit, fund, and train another executive director. After much reflection, we have made the difficult decision to close our doors at the end of this month.

We didn’t come to this decision hastily. Over the past two years, we’ve thoroughly investigated every option to sustain our work: reaching out to other nonprofits and organizations that might want to merge with ICN or adopt our program; recruiting to fill the director position whether volunteer or paid; and exploring ways to distribute the leadership roles within the organization. None of these produced a solution for us.

At ICN, we know about loss, grief, and change – so we grieve the ending of our beloved organization. Yet we also know about strength, resiliency, and healing – so we honor what we’ve accomplished.  Your support, passion, commitment, donations, time, and wisdom have sustained us magnificently over the years. You are a crucial part of our success story:

We provided 400-800+ peer counseling hours annually through confidential, one-to-one, nonjudgmental, free or low-cost telephone support

We supported women of all ages and backgrounds across the US and Canada

We were run entirely by volunteers located in all time zones

Our trained peer counselors were women who themselves had survived infidelity, and they helped each client in her personal recovery from this trauma regardless of whether her relationship ended or mended

We ran a lean, efficient organization with a high bar for quality: met our deadlines, held our commitments, based our work in research and best practices

We were the only nonprofit of its kind, anywhere

Our volunteers have decided to donate our remaining funds at closing to two nonprofits, Girls Inc and Dream Volunteers, whose work resonates with our values of women’s empowerment and healing.

And above all, we leave with these client testimonials carried in our hearts. The lives we have touched remain our legacy, and yours.