As kids, when we go to school, we learn about important subjects, such as science, art, music, geography etc, yet nobody teaches us how to prepare or deal with the challenges that life inevitably throws at us.
If we are lucky, we are born into a loving family that instils sound values in us from a young age, and where we are encouraged to learn by our mistakes and where acceptance is the norm and resilience is built through controlled guidance and parental support. Not everyone’s paths are the same, not everyone’s experiences are the same and not everyone’s journeys are supported and encouraged in the same way. Many would argue what is the right way vs the wrong way, but ultimately in life, the emotional and physical scars we carry are a direct reflection on how life has delt us challenges to deal with along the way.
I was fortunate enough to have been born into a caring loving family. I grew up during South Africa’s apartheid era, and even then, during the tumultuous times of the 70’s, 80s and early 90 I had no idea what the true meaning of hardship really was. It was only until later on in life when I had learnt how privileged my upbringing was, and how insulated and protected I was from life’s hardships.
It was not until my late teens that I decided to leave the nest and move to the UK to live by myself, earn a salary for myself and have the responsibility and accountability of looking after myself on a personal level, but professionally look after a team of people in my work environment.
Having started out at the bottom of the corporate pecking order, as a change room attendant in a London based health & fitness club, I realised just how cruel and how kind this world can be at the same time. It was during those early years of deciphering what independence and leadership truly means, where I learnt that leadership begins within, and independence is supported by self-confidence & belief.
So how does one learn or prepare for life ‘s hardships? Professionally, by the time I was 24 years old I was doing really well thanks to a sound work ethic, not being afraid of putting in more than I took out, and more importantly, I was learning to be comfortable outside of my comfort zone. I realised that one should never allow perfect to get in the way of great, and it became very clear to me that mindset and attitude play a far greater role in fronting up to life’s curve balls than anything academic or has been taught to us. Having the ability to get the simple things right (such as offering to help, being a great listener and not being afraid to try) always lead to the outcomes I was looking for…or at least placed me on the right path to achieving those outcomes.
It was through life’s hardships, however, that I learnt the most valuable lessons. It was during the darkest days that I built the most resilience, and it was when I was down to my last dollar I was thinking creatively and allowing my entrepreneurial streak to shine. We all have it…we just need to create pathways for it to come out. Without those “sink or swim” days, I would not have been forced to do things differently. Without the costly mistakes (that I now refer to as my school fees) I would not have gained perspective, which later became an absolute core strength.
When we talk about hardships, the big one that I was not prepared for, was the untimely and sudden passing of both my parents in quick succession that hit me the hardest. It taught me yet again that life does not always give you the ability to do things at your pace. The universe sets the pace, and we need to operate and thrive within those parameters and when a heart wrenching curveball hits you, it reminds us yet again how fragile life is, and more importantly, it forces us to apply perspective, which is a very powerful thing.
Losing my parents was tough, but in their loss, they left me a gift. They taught me that to be strong means to open oneself up to being vulnerable and to not allow ego or arrogance to have a home in your mind’s eye. That loss, as painful as it was, and being able to not bury it in the back of one’s mind, but rather, like anything in life that is difficult to confront is best done head on, so that how you deal with it becomes a part of what would eventually evolve into your own legacy. Again, life delivers a painful lesson that makes us stronger for ourselves and for each other.
Pretty much after 30 years of being in senior leadership and management roles, I decided that I wanted to become part of the solution to a problem that was affecting most people in the professional environment that I was in. I found that culturally, there was a huge divide between what management & leadership teams were saying, versus how they were acting. There was a great, divide, between the values that were printed and framed on boardroom walls versus how those businesses and leaders were behaving. So, when I decided to leave the corporate world, I also had to say goodbye to the very healthy salary, the perks of the job and the security and comfort that existing inside a comfort zone bubble brings.
After I resigned from the corporate world, I decided to study coaching and psychology for six years. It was in 2018 that I decided to dedicate my life to helping others through coaching. When I became a qualified life coach and attained one of the highest levels of qualification one can get in coaching here in Australia, I decided that I needed to assemble a team of like-minded people who would enjoy embarking on the next phase of this journey with me with an equal amount of passion, as what I have.
My great passion in life is to work with teams of people and help them to unlock their true potential. I also know that no two people in any work environment, sporting environment or team environment are the same. That means that even on a day when we celebrate a win together, not everyone will be feeling happy inside for reasons only known to themselves.
My values continued to evolve over the years and as I transitioned from a life in corporate leadership roles, I was happy with how my values remained true to my goals. I embraced humility, trust and respect, and learnt that listening is also a superpower worth focusing on developing as a skill. In saying that, studying culture and teamwork and the elements that make people operate at the optimum together as a team became a key focus for me.
Having run businesses on three continents across three industries and leading many teams along the way, I realised that no two people of the same in the same way that no two teams of the same. So, what is the secret to success in generating a winning formula for teamwork? I decided to map them out through the lens of first hand experience. I discovered that for successful teams to develop you require the following:
(1) Passion: There needs to be an electric spark, some people call this energy or Mojo or an energetic flow that forms the bloodline of any high-performance team.
(2) Alignment: There needs to be clarity which is underpinned by alignment in order for success to be achieved by any team. Cohesion is the cement that bonds teams together. T
(3) Leadership: Strong teams deliver sound results consistently if there is healthy leadership.
Please bear in mind, when I refer to a “team” I am not only referring to team in the commercial business context. I am referring to a team in a sporting context as well as in the family or personal life context. For example, the team in your personal life might be made up of family, friends, your partner and people who you choose to surround yourself with who understand you, support you and encourage you to achieve your goals. Once again, there is that an alignment that needs to be in place in order for you to achieve the successful outcome you desire. A key point that differentiates anyone, or any team between success and not success is consistency.
Consistency means that if you have a taste of success or your desired outcome, it’s not by coincidence. It is because you have orchestrated it to become that way, and you have established an environment for it to continue that way. It’s also important to note that consistency has a direct relationship with perspective. If we apply perspective and context in the way in which they are intended to be applied, then the chances are, the other ingredients for success to occur will come together to create the perfect outcome.
I’ll give you an example in a sporting context: Would you rather be a team of champions out on the field, or would you rather be a champion team made up of no big names, no legends, just likeminded, passionate people who share a common goal with clarity of alignment to support it? More often than not, a champion team will outperform a team of champions.
I have come to learn that the line we walk from the moment we wake up each day to the moment we go to sleep at night is a very fine line when it comes to our feelings and the impact feelings and emotions have on our behaviour and actions. Most of us walk that line like a tightrope, without realising just how fragile that balance is in our lives. Often, I have spoken about the importance of these seven key steps to ensuring that our energy, passion, motivation & our Mojo is never lost, because without that, life becomes a harder tightrope to walk.
These are the seven steps I would like you to reflect upon in order to generate and maintain that all important energy we need in our lives to help maintain balance, perspective and passion for what we do. It will help create the motivation you need when it’s time to get up, move onto the next task or face a challenge head on.
1. Get up on the right side of the bed
If your last thought before you nod off each night is a positive one, then the chances are your first thought of the day will be too. I’ve proven to myself that falling asleep listening to a meditation segment or listening to soothing sounds leads to a healthy night’s sleep. The outcomes of a great nights sleep will be evident through your first conscious thoughts when you rise to face the day. Wake up with a positive mindset and it will set you up for the day. Also – in recent years, I have learnt that waking EARLY is an incredibly powerful ace to have up your sleeve! If you are not a morning person, you should still try it. I found it liberating to say the least. I am a 4:30am riser…and in the ocean by 5:15am. Best feeling in the world!
2. Tackle the tough stuff first
Get the biggest tasks / the challenging ones out the way as early in the day as possible. Your mojo and energy will drive you to knock these tasks out of the way first up! This will create a sense of achievement and will set you up to smash through the rest of what the day has to throw at you, and remember, curveballs are a part of each day, so expect them!
3. Live Monday to Thursday like it is Friday!
Don’t dread the week, embrace it! Create fun and laughter around you. It’s infectious and it spreads. Bring that Friday feeling into your work life and watch the impact it has on those around you. Sounds crazy?
Try it! Healthy culture stems from each individual, and your Mojo drives it!
4. Have a clear plan for the day
How will you know if you have succeeded in winning the day if you don’t have a clear plan for what your goals are for the day? Sounds elementary, but you will be surprised how many of us fail in this basic discipline! Prioritise the activities that are most meaningful in terms of achieving your goals.
There is a great Japanese proverb that I cling to: “Action without vision is a nightmare; Vision without action is a daydream!” Bring Vision and Action together in the form of your goals and your plans for each day, and let your Mojo drive it.
5. Bite Size Chunks
Your mojo and energy are not infinite, so use it wisely! A daunting “to do” list can be scary to look at and demotivating to tackle unless you break things down into “bite-size chunks”.
It’s a balancing act, so don’t spread yourself too thin as it will drain your mojo when you start to feel like you are not accomplishing the things you want to so. We are not human doings, we are human beings, so it’s important to nurture and align your wants and needs.
6. Own it!
We need to make each day count, so when it comes to achieving your goals, make sure you enjoy and celebrate those successes. Likewise, when faced with a challenge, own it, front up to it, deal with it and move on from it. Your mindset, energy, passion and enthusiasm are the ammo that you will need to overcome almost any challenge.
7. Downtime
We all love to chill out watching Netflix, spending time on social media and generally being attached to our devices. Scientific studies have proven time and time again, that true “down time” is not spent in front of a screen. As the age-old saying goes; “stop to smell the roses”.
Detach from your device for an hour or two. 40 minutes of device-free activity or exercise will do wonders for re-charging the Mojo flow, and topping up your energy. Go for a walk, watch the sunset. Re-connect with nature.
The above 7 points now forms a part of what I have learnt and what I now coach. All of us are leaders. We all have the same 24 hours in each day to be productive and a key thing that differentiates us from each other is our mindset, our energy and our values. Map out your goals and revaluate your values. Remember that life is wonderful, and when it challenges us in hurtful ways, its providing us with opportunities to grow, learn and become resilient.
Each of us has a super power, be it humility, empathy, listening or helping others. Most of us don’t realise we have these superpowers, so we should give ourselves the ability to find them, nurture them and unleash them. Life is fragile, but it is wonderful too. It is as cruel as it is kind, and it goes quickly, so think about the legacy you are creating, and for who it will be left to find.