Lighter! | Preethi Srinivasan

This is a tricky word it could mean "A Lighter" that sets alight a spark, or it could mean "To Feel Lighter", which signifies being unburdened from a heavy weight. I felt this could be the most apt title for this article, because I would like my words to be both at the same time for a spark to be lit from within that causes us to feel lighter.

We are currently living in dark, difficult times that often leave us feeling heavy and drained. There is death and suffering everywhere, it hardly makes any sense anymore. Why must we face adversity? But then again, my question is, why not? No, I'm neither masochistic, nor a sadist, neither pessimistic, nor a dreamer, please humour me - maybe my theory has the power to spark a different perspective in you... Just give it a chance!

In every game I have ever witnessed, played or tried to understand, there is a gradual increase in the level of difficulty. Beginners face minor obstacles which they succumb to or overcome. Then they graduate to higher levels; as they gain expertise in the arena the hurdles grow accordingly to keep challenging them.

However, when comes to real life, our only goal seems to stay within a cushy comfort zone, to never face adversity, obstacles, challenge or any trigger that could force us to be vulnerable or helpless, when the fact is that it is vulnerability and helplessness that forces us to grow and evolve.

My experiences in life have taught me that we are never given what we cannot handle. Every obstacle has a purpose to change our direction, to force us to grow and help break us out of complacency or stagnation. For me, every pain, failure and loss is a blessing, because it eventually serves to motivate me to be better, to do better, to become purer in my purpose.

It is our expectations that we are deluded into believing in. Then, they weigh us down like mountains we force ourselves to carry because we believe in them, believe in their reality, in their existence.

So, what are some of these expectations many of us have - life should be comfortable, easy, fair and filled only with successes and smooth sailing! Or let's try, "I should be normal; everyone should love me or at least like me; I should be beautiful and look "better than the rest"; I should be intelligent, charming et cetera. And, if and when life does not fall in line with our expectations of how "it should be", we crib and complain.

Let me tell you, my life is not a cakewalk by any standards, but I feel absolutely blissful and blessed every moment of every day. Right now, I'm writing this article from a hospital bed using a speech activated software.

I am paralysed below the neck and cannot do anything for myself, including scratch an itch, change a channel, or perform seemingly effortless tasks that most of you take for granted on a daily basis. But, even in moments of utter vulnerability and helplessness, I'm happy and at peace with myself because I don't expect any moment to be any different than it is in the moment! It's as simple as that. If every moment is perfect as it is, as it was meant to be, then there is nothing to complain, there is no illusory weight of expectation to weigh me down and I can simply accept life as it is and make the most of every moment I have in this body-mind consciousness.

I can learn the lesson each challenge is offering me, without punishing myself with negative thoughts - I literally only see the silver lining, never the dark cloud - but, before calling me impractical, please try it out for just one day, 24 hours, just see the possibility in every eventuality!

This is not to say that I don't feel pain or anger or frustration, this is to say that I accept them in the moment, witness them for what they are and allow them to dissipate without "identifying" with them or "investing" in them by assuming "ownership" of them.

Instead, I spend my time doing work wholeheartedly when work is required to be performed; happily feeling awe and wonder at the Butterfly flittering about in the garden and basically not expecting anything to be any different than it is in the moment. I love all aspects of life beauty in all its forms, love, laughter, food and friends but I'm eagerly awaiting leaving the limitation of this body-mind consciousness and embracing my limitless self.

On a final note, I just want to say that it is perfectly alright for you to have suspicions about the authenticity of my lived experience, to want to denounce my theory and basically call it crap. That's okay! This is just another way, a different perspective; maybe you might want to unburden yourself of what you "expected" to get from this article and then read it one more time. If these words make you feel lighter or spark a light within you, I'm happy, but if they don't, I'm still happy.

Just a thought though, just maybe, if you choose to set aside the baggage of your own expectations you have been carrying for so long, for just a little while, maybe you can breathe in some fresh air and feel lighter!