Letter from a Mother to her Daughter | Smita Das Jain

Dearest Avantika,

Happy Birthday. This is the second straight birthday that you are spending in lockdown, and yet you are happy because your Mom and Dad stay with you forever at home. There are very few people like you who find joy in the simpler aspects of life. God Bless you.

Your Mom loves you. Even though you won’t be able to say it back, but through your sweet smile, you let me know that you love me too. I know you care when I walk into your room to take a break from my Zoom fatigue, and you drop everything you might be occupied with at the moment and hold my hand imploring me to sit beside you.

It seems like yesterday when you were born and doctors informed your father that you have slim chances of survival. How much did you suffer during those 25 days after your birth in NICU isolated from your parents, with syringes pierced all over your tiny body? But you are a fighter my dear and have grown up into an eleven-year-old beautiful big girl now. Time certainly flies.

You need to take note that how people behave is their problem, not yours. You are truly special, with your distinct behaviour & traits that are different than usual. Not everyone will be able to understand this. You may have noticed some people giving you strange looks, a few even laughing or smirking at your antics. They behave out of ignorance and you should ignore them as you have been doing till now. Do keep in mind that you cannot control or change others but you can fully decide response & reaction. Your peace of mind is more important than anything else, don’t lose it over people who don’t matter.

Please remember that it takes all kinds to make the world. The world is a beautiful place but not all people are honest and worthy of your trust. Likewise, not all are dubious and dishonest. You are innocent and trust easily, but you need to learn to identify people worthy of your trust. This will come by experience; experience is a hard teacher-she gives the test first and the lesson afterwards. Life will comprise many experiences for you to learn as you grow.

I have learnt so much from you. There is so much that is gentle and true about you. You have a good heart and forgive easily. Many a time I have witnessed your tantrums and meltdowns, especially when I or your father disappoint you, and yet after a while you are back to your smiling ways forgetting the previous instance. If only adults were like that!

You always manage to create a special place in the heart of all those people who come to know you. You are the apple of your teachers’ eye, your previous therapists don’t tire asking me of your progress, the guards and the staff of the society we live in enquire about your well-being with me. Keep it up, darling.

I am grateful to God for having a daughter like you. People often ask me whether I feel sad for not having a ‘normal’ child! I honestly don’t. Your autism has taught me to be more patient and count the small blessings in life. You have made me a mother. I still remember the doctors saying that you may not survive, and thank my stars that you are with me.

Today, on your birthday, I promise that no matter what, your Mom and Dad will always be there for you.

God Bless you Avni. I love you, darling. I always will.