Just like we take care of our physical body by engaging in exercise & taking care of our nutrition & sleeping habits; the same way we need to take care of our emotional body as well
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Our emotional body is made up of our thoughts, emotions and the behaviours that we engage in as a result of those thoughts & emotions. These three put together determine the quality of our emotional lives which ultimately impacts our engagement with the other areas of our lives.
When we are unaware of what are the kind of thoughts that drive us & the kind of emotions they generate, we become prone to being hijacked by our emotions. The term ‘Emotional Hijack’ simply means that in a situation, we end up reacting out of our emotions rather than responding to it by logically considering the possible alternatives.
Emotional intelligence then allows us to be smarter with our feelings i.e. when we become aware of our thought & reaction patters & are able to ascertain for ourselves whether those patterns are working or not, we are better able to handle the challenges & opportunities that life throws at us.
The pandemic is a glaring example of how lack of self-awareness led to individuals being hijacked by their emotions such as those of anger, aggression, frustration, anxiety, sadness and they found themselves stuck in unhealthy ways of responding.
Therefore, being emotionally intelligent or being smarter with our feelings requires us to –
1. Pay attention to our thoughts, feelings & actions that tend to come up frequently in different or specific situations.
2. Assess whether this usual & familiar pattern is working for us i.e. adding some value or creating more damage. E.g. If you find yourself feeling irritated, frustrated or angry after work most of the times & you end up displacing that anger at home onto your loved ones; then it’s a good time to look within and introspect as to where is this anger coming from and what is it costing you.
3. Choose an alternate way of responding after understanding & analysing our thoughts, feelings & actions.
We all are emotionally intelligent and just like we need to practice any other skill so that it continues to get honed, we need to engage in self-reflection & introspection every now & then to understand our emotional world.
The more we are able to access our thought, emotion & behaviour patterns, the better we’ll be able to :
Regulate our emotions,
Find better ways of dealing with our circumstances
Engage better in our relationships
Lead an improved quality of life
When we learn to understand the messages that our own emotions are giving to us, the better we are able to use them for enhancing our well-being rather than letting them get the best of us.