These days, a martyr refers to a person who unnecessarily sacrifices themselves for others, while ignoring their own needs.
Having a martyr complex is a way of life as it affects every interaction a person has towards others and their role in the world. I say this because in the past I have personally wrestled with a victim/martyr complex.
People with a Victim/Martyr mentality can believe they must willfully suffer in the name of love and everything will fall apart if they aren’t there to hold it together. Also, they are responsible for everyone else’s well-being and happiness and other people are responsible for their unhappiness, hardship, and mistreatment – not them. They can also believe because they sacrifice so much, other people must agree with, obey or appease them 100% of the time and if they are no value to anyone, they are worthless
Negative habits produce negative results.
1. Feeling powerless and helpless. Some people feel they don’t have control over their situation. So they don’t even try to affect the outcome.
2. Dwelling on negativity. Some people complain about their tough life just to attract attention or to fill a void in the conversation.
3. Generating self-abuse. Some people continually put themselves down.
4. Remaining stuck in the past. Some people refuse to let go of disappointments.
5. Blaming the world. Some people blame scapegoats for their setbacks and difficulties.
6. Being consumed by problems. Some people wear their problems as a badge of honour.
7, Feeling cheated. Some people are envious and resentful. They believe that “the world isn’t fair."
How to deal with someone with martyr/victim mentality
1. Stop accepting excessive gifts, favours, and expressions of effort or sacrifice from them
2. Acknowledge or agree with them, but don’t fulfil their need for pity, approval or sympathy
3. Be courageous and speak to them honestly
4. Be understanding
How to manage martyr/victim mentality within yourself
1. Find a new role within your friendship/relationship/workplace
2. Take responsibility for yourself/actions
3. Prepare yourself for backlash
4. Practice inner work
5. Identify actionable ways to make improvements
6. Change your narrative
7. Help others in need
8. Learn how to say no
9. Treat yourself with compassion and kindness
It's time to become mindful of what we are telling ourselves, the actions we are undertaking & the people & situations we are surrounding ourselves with, that are affecting & minimising our potential...
BELIEVE, love & nourish yourself...
Reach & achieve all you are & all you are meant to be.